I don't particularly like holidays. Breaks in routine are somewhat damaging to me, I find myself becoming distracted and demotivated. Although this is nothing new (it's been constant throughout my education, both compulsory and voluntary) I am now trying to discover where it originates - what stops me from indulging in the work I so enjoy and how can I eradicate it? I can and do work under pressure, but I am nearly always unsatisfied with the final result whether it's practical or written. Like most people, I start every module, every project with the best of intentions. I get the books, I make the notes, I start to construct. But, long before the deadline, with my work incomplete, I become disillusioned, frustrated and bored. It's like I binge, and then am so disgusted with what comes out that I have to start all over again.
There is no doubt that I am a passionate, opinionated individual. I very rarely sit on the fence with regards to moral or political values and when something happens that frustrates me (at the moment, the debate over our outdated monarchy and the fact that tax payers are expected to fork out for the over indulgent nuptials of two individuals they have never met whilst suffering on the back of cuts to essential services is one such issue) I become so inflamed that my all of my inspiration and energy is targeted in that direction. I now realise that I need to either channel this energy productively in that direction using the arts to demonstrate my feelings or somehow separate the two. That won't happen. For me, my work is intrinsically related to provoked feelings and actions. The aesthetics of the product come in at a close second.
This leads me to my placement. I enjoy the people, the environment. And I genuinely like most of the works I have seen. I'm learning valuable skills and I am definitely benefiting from the structure and routine this one day in a week gives me. But there is something missing. There is only so much I can gain from looking at a pretty picture. I'm looking forward to working more with patients and staff in neurophysiology department - this is where I will be fulfilled, where my need to feel useful will be met.
A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam...
Over the course of the next few weeks, I will be working with children in the Neurophysiology Department to support them through some rather intimidating tests. One such test is an EEG, or Electroencephalograph - a test that monitors brain activity. There are two parts to the test - the first being a twenty minute period in which the children must remain quite still and the second a period of three minutes in which they must breath deeply continuously. Getting an accurate reading can be difficult, especially in young children, and distraction is the key to success! I was told by the Deputy Clinical Lead that toy windmills work wonderfully in the three minute breathing test. I have decided to further develop this method by inviting children and their families to make their own windmills in the previous twenty minute test in an attempt to ease anxiety.
